Briefcase Moms Newsletter

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Briefcase Moms Newsletter

Issue #5 - May 2004

IN THIS ISSUE
1) Upfront & Personal
2) Briefcase Moms® Program Launched Successfully
3) Feature Article: Create a Sisterhood of Support
4) Briefcase Moms® Book Update
5) The Balance Zone
6) Mother's Day

Upfront & Personal

Well it happened. I turned "40" this weekend. The truth is, I feel great about being 40. L

I'm excited about what the future holds for me and I feel more than ready to step into this next phase of my life. I think this is so because I am blessed to have many wonderful people in my life who not only celebrated this milestone with me but have also given me the gift of their friendship over the years.

It is the heartfelt, soulful connections I have with my girl friends that I grateful for. I see these friendships as being different from the primary relationship I have with my spouse. I see the relationships I have with the women in my life as unique and different from my male friendships.

It is that special bond we have with our female friends that smooth out the emotional edges of our lives, connect us with ourselves and support us when we need it the most. Read on to discover more about the role your friends play in your life, L.

Feature Article: Create a Sisterhood of Support
by Lisa Martin, PCC

Our true friendships are often our most cherished connections. With our friends we are most comfortable sharing our real selves-free to be who we truly are and who we are becoming. With our closest companions we feel safe to express and exchange our truths, to make mistakes, to be silly or sad and laugh or cry till it hurts. Friends touch our lives in many different ways. Friends make us who we are. They keep us grounded and honest and let us blow off steam. They teach us things and continually open our hearts.

The impact of a good friendship can be fleeting-a hug on a bad day-or lifelong-words of wisdom that forever guide our decisions. The women who are dearest to us are the connective fabric of our lives.

Friendships combat loneliness
Although surrounded by people (sometimes it feels like every waking moment of the day), many of us feel lonely and isolated. We crave time alone, yet at the same time we yearn for the deeper connection of sisterly love. We seek to be understood and to understand. We want to share stories with someone we trust who empathizes with our situation. Without the loving care that is the heart of a solid friendship, we experience a sense of emptiness and loss in our lives.

Because of daily pressures, it can be challenging to make the time and create the mental space needed to develop and maintain friendships. These precious relationships can take a back seat to other priorities, subconsciously or consciously.

If you are maxed out with work and raising children, finding the time to establish high-quality relationships with others can be difficult. If you've just relocated to a new city, making new friends can be formidable and extremely time-consuming. If your job demands a lot of travel, staying in contact with close companions and attending social events can be a challenge. Yet truly connecting with our girlfriends is essential to a life of balance.

Friendships reduce stress
We know how good we feel after talking with a friend. When women are stressed and upset-about health concerns, relationship problems or work-related conflicts-we tend to reach out to a friend. Even if no solutions have been found, just that sense of connection, of naming the concern, is helpful.

Friends allow us to release our worries and fears in safety. The positive impact friendships have on our emotional health was borne out in a research study done by psychologist Shelley Taylor of the University of California, Los Angeles, in 2000. The study revealed a pattern of responding to stress she termed "tend-and-befriend." She maintains that female stress responses have evolved for the protection of offspring and involve affiliation with social groups, especially networks of females.

In her study, Taylor points out that this stress response is seen in many species. Females respond to stressful conditions by protecting and nurturing their young (the "tend" response) and by seeking social contact and support from others-especially other females (the "befriend" response). Befriending methods in our North American culture include talking on the phone with relatives or friends, or even such simple social contacts as asking for directions when we're lost.

When we are stressed, essentially, women prefer to be with others, especially other women.

Check Your Balance
Creating and maintaining friendships is an investment in our well-being. We like to be around people who make us feel good. We can also learn a lot from relationships that challenge and stretch us. You will benefit from clarifying which relationships in your life sustain you and which do not. It also helps to know what kind of friend you are and the impact you are having on the lives of others. Contemplate these questions.
• What does being a friend mean to me?
• Am I a good friend to others?
• Who are my friends now? What qualities do they have and why are they my friends?
• Who do I want to see more of? Whose company do I enjoy the most?
• Are there friendships that I need to let go of? Can I imagine me doing that?
• What changes do I need to make to surround myself with a sisterhood of support?

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can! Just please ask our permission first by sending an e-mail to laura@briefcasemoms.com. She'll give you a short bio to include at the end of the article.

Contact Lisa Martin
For more information on Briefcase Moms® programs, customized private coaching with Lisa or inviting Lisa to speak to your organization, please contact her at (604)988-9394 or lisa@briefcasemoms.com. Or, visit www.briefcasemoms.com

Check it Out

Briefcase Moms® Program Launched Successfully

The Briefcase Moms® Program: 90 Days to a Balanced Life launched on April 13 with a fantastic group of women from across Canada and the US.

With the first month under our belt we have reviewed the first three practices (Simplification, Lightness and Well-Being) from Briefcase Moms: 10 Proven Practices to Balance Working Mothers' Lives.

Here's what one of the working moms in the group had to say after our first session.

"The session was great. I'm so excited about participating in this process...thanks for your hard work and dedication to "briefcase moms!!!" Already this week I have asked for help, delegated responsibility and followed through with self-care... It's amazing how much impact simple awareness and accountability has!" --Shannon

For more information about the next Briefcase Moms Program to be launched in September send me an email or go to www.briefcasemoms.com.

Briefcase Moms® Book Update

Be one of the first to take a look at the inside of my book. We've added a ton of new information about Briefcase Mom: 10 Proven Practices to Balance Working Mother's Lives to my website.

You can take a peek at the Table of Contents, a summary of the 10 Practices, read reviews and a whole lot more. click here

Let me know what you think... send me an email.

The book will be available for sale to the public in June. Stay tuned for announcements in May on how to get your advance copy. Or send me an email for more information.

The Balance Zone

Inspirational Quote

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.-Anais Nin

Mother's Day

This year Mother's Day falls on Sunday, May 9. What are you planning to do to honor this day that celebrates motherhood? Is it brunch with your family? Lunch with friends? Some time alone? Savoring a great chocolate bar? Buying a new lipstick? A phone call to your mother?

Start thinking now about how you want to spend YOUR Mother's Day. What do you need to get in place to ensure you have a terrific day?

We're Listening

Here's a comment on last month's article "Remember to Play."

"Hi Lisa,
As always something to learn from you...here's a riff on play (as someone who can easily turn play into work). Maybe part of playing is not just the activity but the conscious and unconscious thought processes that go on with any activity. Maybe finding the play in work is equally important. So playing can be about exploration, discovery and problem-solving. Then what makes that work???
Hmmmm." Linda

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